Monday, April 10, 2017

What's Scarier than Bologna? Bologna with a Face



9 Sketchy-Looking Deli Meats That Almost Make Me Want to Be Vegan

foodbeast.com  Food News 11/6/2014 Isai Rocha

Fotor1106151539

Not sure if kids enjoy eating sandwiches with faces printed on the meat, but it's super creepy. This looks like a carefully orchestrated vegan Jedi mind trick where they're trying to scare the hell out of kids and make them stay away from meat products. Plaster some clown faces on broccoli. Let's see if it makes people want to eat it any more.

Maybe it's effective marketing. I don't know. You take a look for yourself, and tell me if bologna with a confused looking baby on the wrapper makes you hungry.

  PicThx Berlining

Bärchen Lunch Meat
 
Bärchen is German for bear. So if you go to Berlin, you can find a series of bear lunch meats including Bärchenwurst, and Bärchen-Salami.
 
PicThx Reddit
Dora the Explorer

I know kids love Dora the Explorer, but I don't need her exploring my lunch meat like some health inspector with a terrible Miley Cyrus bowl cut. Get it together, Holland.

PicThx Geekologie
Kinda Looks Like Ness from SSB
 
Here, son. Eat this meat with a caricature that looks like your classmate.

 PicThx The Guardian
Dinosaur Turkey

I get why this would sound like a good idea. Dino chicken nuggets were life when we were kids, but this just looks gross. Turkey's hard enough to eat without a bleach stain on it.
 

PicThx Bung Fritz
Emoji Fail
 
Someone in South Australia thought that putting these creepy smiley faces on lunch meat was a great idea. I'll never look at your smiley face Emoji the same again.

 PicThx Reddit
Billy Bear Sausage

Try enjoying a sandwich while this Pedobear lovingly stares into your eyes.

PicThx Evoke.ie
Bearded Lady Meat
 
This Conchita Wurst is named after, well, Conchita Wurst. Wurst is an Austrian singer that dresses in drag and has an awesome beard. As powerful as that beard may be, it doesn't belong in lunch meat, giving you an unwanted mustache ride.

PicThx Reddit
Soylent Green
 
This bologna is suspiciously packaged with a baby around the wrapper. Even the tag calls it "Baby Bologna." What is this Terminus? Don't be serving us baby meat, WinCo.

PicThx Vegan Wolfs
Insane Clown Posse
   
Nope. Not even a little bit.